I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
