I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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