but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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