She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
