Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
