I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Say something about gay babies.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize