Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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