found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i wish my penis had a tongue
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
