My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
