i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I hate all girls vehemently.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
