is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
