Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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