Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
