there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
