I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
