Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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