Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Sober January is a disaster.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
