She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
what day is it and did you see me today?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize