He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
