so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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