is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
