we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
