You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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