her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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