he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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