The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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