worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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