I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
