was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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