I love black thongs
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
