He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize