Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
