im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
