If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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