I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
