u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
