butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize