I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I would fuck him just for his dog
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