I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
