then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize