This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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