I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
