Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize