I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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