then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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