I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
