You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
