I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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