WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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