I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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