normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
