Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think im going to throw up on grandma
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
