So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
