Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
