gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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