Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
