so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
