1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
