His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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