My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize