you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
