Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
