So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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