he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
