When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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