It's like God shit irony all over that family
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My vagina is officially offended.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
