I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
