11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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