I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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