I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
