Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dick very happy bro
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
