Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
