We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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