All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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