I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
