the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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