that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
my shit smells like andre
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
