no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
